Don't Serve the Rashers with Nana's Sticky Plate

St. Brigid's BNS Killester, 27/04/10
As the Bono music plays on the beaches of Jamaica, Tom is talking to his msn buddy Squiggle Pig the Monkey and he’s on the webcam.

Tom’s mam calls him for his annual roast beef dinner every two hours.  He goes down the stairs and sees Willy the Walrus.

The Walrus talks to him and says, “do you have any fingernails.”

While Tom is dealing with the walrus, back in Tom’s room where the computer is, Timothy the Virus jumps out and steals the fingernails that contain the secrets of the universe.

The virus pulls all the stuff in the room into the computer. Squiggle Pig sees this on the webcam.

Squiggle Pig lived in the slums of Sweden and is banned in six different countries for stealing babies.  He goes underground trying to get into Japan.

While Tom is in the school cafeteria eating his annual roast beef, Brent the Bully steals his lunch money by turning him upside down and shaking him.

Brent screams at Tom to give him his eight dollars. Tom starts crying and Brent has the number 8 on his jersey.

Ever since Tom was a little boy, at 43, a giant number 8 beat him up and left him alone on Number 8 Avenue.

Ever since then he has had octophobia. Tom was in love with Brent’s girlfriend Fran…