Spud's Republican Army

NDNSP, 5th Class, 10th June 2009
Evil Talking Spud had a dream he was mashing his wife. He woke up from his dream and his wife exclaimed, “Were you having a nice dream? Were you dreaming about me?!”

“Suuure,” he lied. He went tutting grumpily into the yard daydreaming that he ruled the farm.

All of a sudden, he realised World War Three was going on! Evil Talking Spud was scared and ran to his other wife across the farm and they both ran together to the M50 and started belly dancing.

Suddenly, everything started happening in slow motion. He turned around and saw his wife and a car coming towards her. Then started to sing “Don’t Stop Believin’” to her.

It was too late – she had been turned into mash. The only thing to do was scoop her up, put gravy on her, and eat her.

“This is what she would have wanted,” said Evil Talking Spud.

He returned home and caught his old wife scandalously talking to Mr Pohtatoh.

He got jealous and she said, “This isn’t what it looks like!”

She quickly showed him they were playing with Barney figures while listening to the song “Poker Face.”

Evil Talking Spud realised he had no friends at this house and decided that it was time to take over the farm…